Morning Ramblings

Just some ramblings from my brain this morning.

How badly I want Jesus to come back, to end this suffering. Yet another death yesterday- this time the grandson of one of the most faith filled people I know. It was not just a death, it was a suicide. I am so SICK of the enemy getting into the heads of young people and skewing how they think just for his benefit. I come from an area where I used to be suicidal. It is this crazy thought process that consumes you and it is DIFFICULT to get out of! I am so thankful I was spared. I have watched people I care about loose loved ones this summer at an alarming rate. I know it is the cycle of life, but some of these people have been way too young. Babies born without a proper skull and brain and dying, people dying of uranium poisoning, pulmonary issues, dying on an operating table, etc.

Jesus, so many in pain! Can you please just give people rest, comfort and peace today? Help us live out this life we are still in. I am sorry for getting so caught up in the world around me. So many times I want to walk away. Not from you Lord, but from things like church. I am not perfect and I have many dark areas I am walking through. But I get so frustrated when I see people blinded by the smallest things that are glaringly wrong.
I also get frustrated by my selfish ways and other sins, but that is beside the point.
I want you. I want to serve you. I want to be passionately in love with you. But yet.... I don't. I can't. Why? When will my heart start coming after you?

I want to be in your word. I want to journal and do my devotions. I want to spend time in worship. Yet I do not. I want that living, thriving relationship with you. Yet...I do not pursue you. Please Lord! break these walls!