Mixed emotions today. I feel extremely gross, and horrible because of my extreme weight. Officially, I weigh 342 lbs. I have never weighed that much in my life. I could sit here and feel sorry for myself. But in all honestly, I know that is NOT what God wants. That insecurity shall be thrown aside. I am a daughter and princess of the king. Lord, help me eat healthier and exercise to lose weight. I want to do this right. I feel the physical struggle of not moving- and the mental struggle of feeling like I never can change. Those are all lies fed from Satan, and crap. Thank you God for your protection, devotion and love. Love you daddy king!

Momma Bear

There is something so sweet about a mom holding her child in her arms, gently praying over her and blessing her before bed. In this case, my sweet mentor/sister/friend Kristi holding me. All I could do was cry. Emotions are running high tonight after a sweet talk with my dada and friend Todd . Thank you for being in my life.  Long night~ said goodbye to Colton. goodnight, and thank you Lord.

Sin

What is more offensive to God? The horse crap in the sanctuary or the sin in your heart?

I am sitting here listening to the worship station on Pandora,and drinking a cherry fizz ( Lemonade, cherry syrup and carbonated water). I am contemplating so many things. For starters, tonight is my second night working with the kids at Vineyard. I admit, I am a bit nervous. Ok, really nervous. I know I have Dave with me, but I still feel a bit unsettled. I am really excited for this opportunity though- I can learn a lot from working with Theresa. Thank you again Lord, for giving it to me! I give you the butterflies, and am thankful you promised to never leave my side. I had a conversation ( more like a disagreement) this weekend about convictions. My friend and I have completely different views. Personally, I don't have an issue with going to a bar. They serve amazing food, and often have great entertainment ( Woot Village Musicians! ). This is something I have tumbled back and forth with God about for years. My friend pretty much slammed down my view, saying it went against the verse in the bible about the appearance of sin. I brought up the verse about our body being temples and how people use that for being against tattoo's ( Yes, I have one). I used that as an example. Personally, not my conviction. But others are convicted tattoo's are wrong. Same thing with smoking. The way I see it, some things in this world are found in the grey area of life. It has taken me YEARS to come to that conclusion. As my counselor would say, I am very black and white- but praise God for the changes in my life! I seriously hate getting caught up in this stuff now. Let me be me. Let God control my life, and let him tell me what is right and wrong for my life.